This weekend I attended a combined family birthday party for a niece and a nephew. They are not siblings, but first cousins who happened to be born three days apart. They are also the oldest of their generation. It was a little surreal for me to realize that these two children, one a freshman in college and the other a high school senior heading to college in the fall, had both been born when I was a college student. I can still remember flying from campus to visit each – one born on the East coast and the other in the West. Now both live in the Boston area and are growing into fine young adults.

But at the party I did notice one thing. My niece, the one already attending college, received both wrapped gifts and envelopes from those gathered. While my nephew only received envelopes. The wrapped gifts for my niece were mostly candy and snacks – things to help her restock the dorm room she is heading back to this weekend. The envelopes for both held cash. While my nephew appreciated the cash, I learned later he was disappointed that he did not have anything to open.

I felt bad when I heard that. It is a struggle for me to think of good gifts for teenage boys. Having never been one, I tend to fall back to cash. But everyone likes to get a gift on their birthday. I should have remembered that. Oh well, at least his Mother is out shopping for him this weekend. Since his birthday is not until early next week she has time to wrap some gifts for him.

While I know that cash in a card is really the most useful thing for both at this stage in their lives, I still have a hard time letting go of the guilt of not finding something more meaningful for each to mark another year gone by in their lives.

What about you? Have you ever felt you missed the mark with a gift? Any good suggestions for future gifts for older teens so I don’t make this mistake again next year?

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